Comedic Genus
by The Legendary Bill Cipher
Summary: The Diamonds plan a surprise for their newest guest in need of adoration.


"How you guys doing?" Spinel asked. "Should I increase the horsepower or what?"

She was laying on her back in what was once Pink Diamond's chambers on Homeworld, now her personal chambers since the Diamonds had taken her in about three weeks ago. The Pebbles had remembered her and welcomed her back with tiny open arms. Presently, she was juggling a handful with her hands and another handful with her feet at the same time.

"This is great, Spinel!" some of the Pebbles said, the others cheering. Spinel grinned and giggled.

She was finally feeling a little more like her old self, and it was showing. The black lines down her cheeks were gone and her gem was right-side up once more. Her colors had blossomed back to their former brilliance.

"Glad you guys are having fun. The Diamonds have been busy for the past few days. Dunno what it is, but it's supposed to be a surprise. Even from me," Spinel said. She tilted her head back to look out the window towards the throne room in the distance and her smile faltered slightly.

"Don't worry, Spinel," one of the Pebbles said.

"I'm sure it's a good surprise!" one of the Pebbles cheered, mid-flight.

"I'm sure you're right," Spinel sighed, her focus turning back to the Pebbles. "I mean, they took me in and all. I'm sure I haven't worn out my welcome yet."

There was a chime at the door, signaling someone's arrival. Spinel perked up and sat up, still juggling the Pebbles. With precision, she chucked the Pebbles this way and that. A panel opened up on the walls, ceiling, and floor as each one approached and a fellow Pebble caught them before retreating.

Spinel gave the last one a wink and a thumb's up, which was returned, before getting up to answer the door. Yellow Pearl stood at attention and gave her customary Diamond salute to Spinel.

"The Diamonds politely request your presence…Spinel." The Pearl was still having a little time getting over the discomfort of addressing the lower Gem like a Diamond.

Spinel grinned, practically bouncing as she stepped out and slung a rubbery arm around Yellow Pearl's shoulders. "Thank ya kindly, Pearlie," she said. Yellow Pearl grumbled and shrugged her way out of Spinel's grip. "Ah, right, you only let Blue Pearl do that, huh?"

Yellow Pearl fumed down the hall, a dark yellow blush on her cheeks. With squeaking shoes and a bounce in her step, Spinel followed after her. She didn't know if the Pearls were as close as the fusion she'd left behind on Earth, but it sure seemed like it from the context clues.

A short time later, Yellow Pearl opened the doors for Spinel and the pink Gem got a running start before diving through them. In grandiose fashion, she jumped, flipped, summersaulted into the throne room before sliding to a stop before the Diamonds on one knee in presentation fashion.

"Here's Spinel!" she sang before getting to her feet and doing a bow. Yellow Pearl sighed and shut the doors behind them before walking over to Blue Pearl, who clapped softly at Spinel's entrance.

The Diamonds applauded her entrance. "Oh I sometimes forget how flexible you are," Blue Diamond said.

"Such a cheerful little thing, just like Pink," Yellow Diamond agreed with a chortle. White Diamond agreed with a nod.

"So, what's the big surprise?" Spinel asked, standing up and bouncing on her heels in anticipation.

"Well, Spinel, we've been talking it over," Blue Diamond began.

"You're a very special Gem. Not just to us, but to Gemkind as well," Yellow Diamond explained. "Were you aware you are the only one of your kind in all of the Gem colonies? There are no other Spinels."

"Really?" Spinel blinked in surprise. "No, not really. I mean, I know I was made for Pink Diamond, but…I'm really the only one?"

"Well, you were a very special creation for a very special Gem," White Diamond said.

"So, what does that have to do with my surprise?" Spinel asked.

"We've been scouring our colonies and searching all the planets on our star maps," Yellow Diamond said. "But we were finally able to find what we needed."

"And we only took what we needed, nothing more," Blue Diamond interjected. Spinel giggled.

"To present to you, your surprise," White Diamond concluded.

Each Diamond reached into their gem and produced a small bubble. The contents weren't visible to Spinel until each Diamond reached down and held out their palm. Spinel gasped in surprise.

Each bubble contained a heart-shaped gemstone, each one an equal cut to her own gemstone. However, once the bubbles were popped, the gemstones began to glow, and the difference became clear – each gemstone was the color of the Diamond who had produced it.

Spinel could only watch with her jaw slacked as three identical forms took shape. Those same heart-shaped pigtails, the same vibrant colors, save for the white one who was monochrome, the same goofy eyes and silly bounce, and even the same gem placement and orientation. Soon, Spinel was looking into three Rejuvenated mirrors of different colors.

"We present to you," White Diamond said proudly. "White Spinel."

"Yellow Spinel," Yellow Diamond said.

"And Blue Spinel," Blue Diamond said.

Spinel blinked dumbly at the doppelgangers as each one presented their hand to her in grand fashion, one at a time.

"Hello!" the white one sang.

"Hello!" the yellow one sang.

"Hello!" the blue one sang.

Spinel took a step back, looking between the three Spinels. "You…you made more of me?" she asked, her voice croaking. The disappointment in her voice startled the Diamonds.

"Yes. We thought you'd be happy," Blue Diamond said.

"Happy?" Spinel stuttered. "You're replacing me."

"What? No, Spinel, we-"

White Diamond was cut off as Spinel bolted for the Warp Pad in the throne room, her eyes clenched shut to hold back tears. If she weren't running, she would've flipped her heart upside down once again as that familiar feeling of abandonment returned.

Before any of the Diamonds could stop her, she hopped onto the Warp Pad and vanished skyward in a bright beam of light. Blue Pearl pulled up a screen while the three Spinels just looked at each other and shrugged in confusion.

"She is heading for Earth, my Diamond," Blue Pearl announced.

"I thought we did alright," White Spinel said to the other two, who nodded in agreement.

"Should we go after her?" Blue Diamond asked, turning to the other Diamonds.

"No, Steven should be able to console her," White Diamond replied.

"I can't understand what we did wrong," Yellow Diamond said, rubbing her chin. "She was all alone for six-thousand years, abandoned by Pink. I thought more Gems like her would make her feel more at home. I mean, I know how Steven is around us."

"Truly something Steven would commend," Blue Diamond said with a nod.

"Hmm, I wonder," White Diamond thought aloud, looking down at the three Spinels. They were having their own comedic debate over what went wrong, which involved a lot of gesturing and ways to improve their entrances.

* * *

Steven was reading through a comic book when he heard the Warp Pad upstairs activate. He frowned in confusion – the other Gems were at Little Homeworld, helping with the construction. They would've at least stopped by to say "hello" before going up to the Warp Pad. And who from space would be coming to Earth?

He heard footsteps trudge down the stairs to his bedroom, but they sounded familiar – each footfall had a squeak to it. Sitting up quickly, his suspicion was confirmed when Spinel stopped at the base of the stairs and suddenly noticed him.

"Spinel?" Steven asked, setting aside his comic books and getting to his feet.

"Hey…Steven," Spinel said with a weak grin. She sniffled and wiped at her eyes. "Been a while. I'd say sorry I dropped by but I kinda just walked here." Her chuckle was weak too.

"Is something wrong? Did something happen on Homeworld?"

"Oh, nothing's wrong." Spinel brushed it away. "The Pebbles are great company, pretty sure those two Pearls are smooching behind our backs, and the Diamonds are…are…" Her legs grew wobbly – more wobbly than usual – and she all but sank over to the couch, collapsing in a pile of sobbing and loose limbs.

Steven ran over to her and knelt beside her. "Spinel? What about the Diamonds?" he asked. She looked up at him, tears running down her cheeks, before she returned to sobbing, burying her face in a length of her arm. "Hey, I'm here for you, don't worry. Do you want to talk about it?" Spinel nodded. "Do you…want me to get the others too?" Spinel nodded again after a pause.

* * *

Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl weren't exactly angry towards Spinel, but there was a tense air in the room as they sat around the couch a few minutes later. Spinel had pulled herself together enough to sit upright, but her limbs were still a wiggly, limp mess. Steven sat next to her, a hand on her shoulder.

Pearl at least tried to look civil when facing the Gem who had tossed her around like a ragdoll. Amethyst, on the other hand, looked mad, with her arms crossed. She refused to look at Spinel. Garnet sat mute in-between them, a blank expression on her face.

"I wanted to start by saying," Spinel began, her head drooping. "I never apologized to you all for what I did. So…I'm sorry. For tossing you around, wiping your memories, and nearly killing your planet. And Steven."

"Apology accepted," Garnet said calmly before Pearl could. Amethyst just grunted.

Pearl frowned at her around Garnet's back. "Amethyst, please," she said quietly.

"Fine, fine. Accepted or whatever," Amethyst said, waving it off.

"Now, what's this about the Diamonds?" Steven asked Spinel gently. Pearl and Amethyst glanced at each other in surprise before looking to the pink Gem.

"They…they…" Spinel gulped. "They made more of me…"

"More of you?" Amethyst asked. "So what? Unless you're a Diamond, there's a ton of Gems like you out there, right?"

"Actually," Pearl interjected politely. "In all my time with Pink, I never even heard mention of another Spinel."

Spinel nodded. "That's what they told me, that I was the only Spinel in all of the Gem colonies. And then they…they just showed off three more, just like me. They looked like I used to look, except they were white, blue, and yellow."

"That does sound like the Diamonds," Pearl sighed.

"Why would they make three more Spinels?" Steven asked the pink Gem.

"To replace me…all this time with them, treating me like I was special, like I was something they were missing, they just replace me like this!" Spinel exclaimed, clenching her fists, which in her arms' droopy state were down by her feet.

"Is that what they told you?" Garnet asked at last.

"What? No, but I mean – why else would they make more Spinels if not to replace me?"

"Well, you were the only one of your kind," Garnet explained. "Perhaps they wanted to give you some company."

"Yeah. I mean, they used to try and shower me with attention all the time because I was all they had left of Pink, and I always wanted to stay on Earth with the Gems. Maybe they thought you could use the same kind of company," Steven said.

"Yeah, man," Amethyst chimed in. "It sucks to be alone. Trust me – I was made late in a Kindergarten here on Earth. And it sucked until Rose – I mean Pink – and the others found me.

"You…you really think so? You think they still want me?" Spinel asked.

"Spinel, they said it themselves – you remind them so much of Pink. They gave up everything about their empire because of Steven. I find it hard to believe they could possibly replace you with Gems that aren't even the right color," Pearl scoffed.

Spinel stared down at the coffee table in thought. Then she burst out laughing, sinking back into the couch. Her limbs regained some firmness and she covered her face with the back of her arm. She finished with a sigh that gave away she was anything but happy. "I've been a stupid idiot again, haven't I?" she asked.

"Spinel, you're not a stupid idiot," Steven scolded gently

"I mean, you did try to kill us," Amethyst said with a chuckle. Garnet elbowed her. "Hey, I'm just saying."

"This stuff with mom still really affects you, doesn't it?" Steven sighed.

One of Spinel's eyes extended out to peek from over her arm. "Was it that obvious?" she asked sarcastically. She removed her arm and righted her eye, looking over the Crystal Gems. "Bet that wasn't a problem for you guys though, right? I mean, she led you guys. You were around her, what, nearly as long as I was?"

Pearl cleared her throat gently and squirmed in her seat, suddenly interested in the floor. Amethyst whistled innocently and looked away. Garnet looked down and sighed.

"Rose…Pink, wasn't exactly honest with us either, Spinel," she said, looking up at the pink Gem.

"What do you mean?" Spinel raised an eyebrow.

"She lied to us," Amethyst said plainly. "She never told us anything about being Pink Diamond. At least, not all of us." She glanced at Pearl.

Pearl bowed her head. "She swore me to secrecy as her last command as a Diamond, before I helped her fake her shattering. She wanted a new start here on Earth, but…I don't think she ever knew how many Gems she affected."

"She didn't even tell dad she was Pink Diamond," Steven said. "That's how much of a secret she wanted it to be."

"A lot of good Gems were lost following her into battle. And a lot of them were corrupted for the longest time," Garnet said, adjusting her shades. "She was headstrong and ambitious, who may have wanted the best for those closest to her and the planet, but often didn't realize the cost."

"Yep, that sounds like the Pink Diamond I knew," Spinel sighed. "I had no idea she did all that to you…and here I was, looking to exact revenge on more Gems she hurt. Stars, I'm…I'm sorry."

"It's going to be okay." Steven patted her shoulder. "It'll be a while before you get over it, and maybe you won't, that's just how it is."

"But, as long as you stay with people who care about you, true friends, you won't be abandoned again," Garnet said. "The important thing is the past is behind us. The present, and the future, are what matter."

Spinel nodded, getting to her feet. A slight spring was in her legs. "Thanks, you guys," she said. "I'm sorry for overreacting."

"It's cool." Amethyst shrugged.

"We aren't the ones you should be apologizing to, though," Garnet said with a smile.

"Right you are, triclops," Spinel said with a wink, pointing a finger gun at her. She rapidly wrapped one arm around the group and pulled them into a hug. While the others weren't exactly comfortable with it, Steven chuckled.

"Take care, up there," he said.

"Take care down here," she replied, releasing them. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta bounce!"

And with that, Spinel charged to the stairs and bounced end over end up the stairs into the Warp Pad room. A second later, the Warp Pad activated and died down.

"You think she'll be alright?" Steven asked Garnet as she and the other Gems dusted themselves off.

"If she bounces down the right path." Garnet smiled knowingly.

* * *

When Spinel reappeared on Homeworld, she found the Diamonds waiting for her in their thrones. The other three Spinels were still crowded around in front of the thrones, but quickly stepped out of the way as the Diamonds hurried over to the Warp Pad.

"Spinel! We were so worried," White Diamond exclaimed as they crowded around her.

"Why the stars did you run off like that?" Yellow Diamond asked.

"I'm sorry," Spinel said sheepishly, rubbing her arm. "I thought you wanted to replace me."

"Heavens no!" Blue Diamond gasped. "Spinel, we adore you. We'd never want to lose you."

"These Spinels are here because we thought you might be lonely," White Diamond explained. "We know how Steven wants to be with his Gem friends on Earth. We thought you might want equal company here…in case you ran off to Earth."

"That's, heh, what they said," Spinel said, jerking her thumb back at the Warp Pad. "I'm sorry I overreacted."

"It's alright," Blue Diamond said, gently scooping the pink Gem up in her arms. Spinel beamed, extending her rubbery arms out until she could fully wrap them around the Diamond in a hug.

"See here, Blue," Yellow Diamond said. "Quit hogging her all to yourself."

"Don't worry – plenty of me to go around!" Spinel exclaimed. With a little more stretching, she was able to wrap her arms full around all three Diamonds. They all giggled.

The three Spinels bounced over the Diamond's huddle to land in the middle, looking up at their eldest member. Spinel looked down and frowned in confusion. "Huh? You guys…changed?"

Blue Spinel had changed her outfit to that of something vaguely like a sailor's, with light blue stripes at the cuffs of the long sleeves, a light blue stripe around the collar, light blue shoulder pads, and a short, flowing blue skirt. Atop her head set a blue cap with a dark blue ribbon. Her legs still had white leggings, and her boots and gloves were dark blue. Her gemstone had been turned ninety degrees to the right.

White Spinel wore a short black dress with off-shoulder sleeves and lacking shoulder pads. Her gloves and shoes had changed to black as well and her leggings were light grey. A limp white bowtie set just under her gem. Her hair was black, lacking pigtails, and styled to points like inward-pointing horns. Her gemstone was completely upside down, but she was still smiling.

Yellow Spinel was wearing a dark yellow vest lacking shoulder pads and light yellow pants. Atop her head was a dark yellow pork pie hat. Her gloves were white in color and her boots were a dark yellow. Her pigtails were drooping to accommodate her new hat. Her gemstone had been turned ninety degrees to the left.

"We thought you might have left because of how they looked," White Diamond explained.

"So we told them to change their appearance. To what they wanted to, of course," Blue Diamond said.

Spinel released the Diamonds to land before the trio. The three muttered to one another and nodded in agreement. Each one did a handstand as they present one hand to Spinel, each saying "hello" in increasing pitch in the same order as before.

The pink Gem laughed before doing a handstand herself. "Hello!" she chimed the loudest. The other Spinels gasped, smiling at one another as if they had just solved a difficult problem. The Diamonds applauded them.

Spinel righted herself and wrapped the other three Spinels in her arms. She flipped them over and picked them up in a bear hug, the biggest grin on her face. "Silly as it may be, there's no place like home."

* * *

Author's Notes

Date of Creation (D.o.C.): 09/04/19

I wanted to make this story feel like an episode of Steven Universe, even in the pun title (a play on "Comedic Genius" and genus). Looking back at the movie, I realized that Spinel had to be the rarest Gem in all of Gemkind. Her place in Gem culture was the court jester, and seeing as the other Diamonds (the only Gems with "courts") didn't have any, she had to be the only one in existence. The hints were also there (reset Pearl calling Steven a "lucky one," and the Diamonds calling her a "lost treasure," like she couldn't be replaced). You're welcome for the extra three. I was delighted to know that, in my research, spinel can actually come in yellow, blue, and white. I know there's "off-colors" in the show, but if I can do it legitimately, that's even better.

When Steven said Spinel was another Gem that he barely knew, exacting revenge for something his mother did, it struck a chord. Each of the Crystal Gems was affected by Pink Diamond's actions, which put them essentially in the same place as Spinel. I'd really like to see the writers explore this moving forward to help Spinel overcome her attachment issues, if she has any left. Talking things out is the way to go.

I restyled the three Spinels after cartoon characters, if you're wondering about the random redesigns. Blue Spinel is designed to look like Donald Duck. White Spinel is designed to look like Bendy the Ink Demon (cartoon form). I had a little trouble with who to redesign Yellow Spinel as, before finally settling on Top Cat. If you'd like another easter egg, try lining up the four Spinel gemstones. Hint: with the tips of the hearts facing one another.

Also, the stuff with Blue and Yellow Pearl is purely speculation. They seem to work well with one another, but who knows? The song I listened to writing this piece was, among various songs from the movie soundtrack, "Anytime You Smile" by J.T. Machinima.

I have more ideas for Spinel, my new second favorite Gem (sorry, my birthstone Garnet will always be number one), involving her desire to learn **friendship**. Gee, **is **that sounding like a **magic**al crossover or what?

-yours truly,

The Legendary Bill Cipher


End file.
